Sleep

sleep 
[sleep]
verb, slept, sleep·ing, noun
–verb (used without object)
1. to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness; cease being awake.

I heard all the stories of other Mom's. "Sleep when you can!" "Take naps when the baby takes naps!" When I was handed (yes, literally handed) a 6 week old newborn and a 17 month old toddler at the same time I never appreciated the word sleep more. I remember the days of getting up every 4 hours with Abbie, sitting on the couch and thinking "I am never going to sleep again, am I?" while she sucked down her formula and smiled at me. When I started back to work, my wonderful husband did help out on the midnight feedings front. He would graciously let me "sleep" in on the weekends and I would graciously accept the offer knowing I'd be up in about an hour. I'm not one who can just shut my eyes and drift off to sleep. It usually takes me a while to fall silent & slumber.

Now that both girls are older, the hubster & I fight over who is getting up and each of us gets that extra hour one day out of the weekend. Which brings me to nap time. Jaelyn has always, always been a good napper. I am usually waking her up after 2 hours just because I want her to sleep at night! To this day, I can normally put her down for a nap around noon-ish and she will be out for 2 hours. Granted, there are some days that she refuses or perhaps just isn't tired because she slept in a little or had sugar or is too excited for the days events after the nap. You get the picture.

Abbie on the other hand, is not a sleeper. She usually refuses a nap. Somedays I will put her in her crib and she will lay there singing, talking to her Baby Bop doll so I don't bother her, I figure she is resting at least? Other days she screams at the very top of her lungs, cries, pouts, throws a major fit (but never climbs out of her crib - go figure!) until I go in and calm her down. I know she is tired, I can tell by the yawns & the dark circles under her eyes. I try laying with her, I try sitting beside her crib, I rock her.. nothing seems to work. I've just about reach the point where she is just over the whole nap thing so I don't have to fight with her anymore. The other hiccup in all of this is... she doesn't sleep longer or later either! Last night, she was bathed, drank milk, brushed her teeth and was in bed asleep by 8:00pm. She was up at 6:00am. She was completely miserable. She screamed if I walked out of the room, she screamed if I talked to her, she screamed if I so much as closed my own eyes to rest, even though I was right there on the couch with her. I can honestly say I almost feel sorry for the caretakers at daycare today because she will probably be close to impossible to deal with. Then again, maybe its just my buttons she likes to push!

I should be grateful for early bedtimes and sleeping thru the night (mostly). But when I have to work all day, sleep sounds like a distant memory of my past. Will I ever again sleep past the 8:00am hour? Will I ever sleep thru an entire night without getting up several times? Oh how I crave sleep somedays. There are days that I would love nothing more than to just lay in my king size bed, in my pjs, doing nothing but sleeping.

Disclaimer: I wrote this blog with a horrible nights sleep so if it seems all over the place and none of it makes sense, I have an excuse. Lack of sleep.